The Mighty Emrys
by Potato Fairy
Summary: A series of semi-related one-shots, post-reveal. Lots of silliness and not to be taken seriously. No slash.
1. Chapter 1: The Mighty Emrys

**Title: The Mighty Emrys**

**Warnings: none.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. I do own Rudy, I'm proud to say.**

**Characters & Pairings: Merlin, Arthur, bit of Gwaine, OC (Rudy)**

**AN: Hi, this is my first fanfic. No, really it's not, it's just the first thing I felt like posting. This has a lot of silliness and is absolutely NOT to be taken seriously. No slash, not really any spoilers**

_"In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn_

_You'll find your place beside the ones you love_

_And all the things you dreamed of, the visions that you saw,_

_The time is growing near now, it's yours to claim it all!"_

_- Son Of Man by Phil Collins (from Tarzan)_

One lovely morning in August, Arthur found out that his servant had magic. He yelled at Merlin for about twenty minutes, calling him a traitor (untrue), a lying deceiver (well, yes, that actually was true), and an evil witch (now that was completely uncalled for), and then promptly banished him on pain of an agonizing, fiery death. Merlin simply rolled his eyes and disappeared in a very impressive poof of golden smoke, and then situated himself in a nice, comfy cave. For you see, our young warlock knew something Arthur didn't. Between the evil sorcerer attacks and bootlicking replacement servants, the king wouldn't last three days.

Merlin would be home within the week.

**lol  
**  
Ten months later, Merlin frowned as he peered into his scrying bowl. He'd been checking on Camelot frequently since he'd been so rudely exiled.

Merlin had expected to be back in Camelot almost a year ago. Usually, a revenge-crazed sorcerer, an evil immortal army led by a revenge-crazed sorcerer, or some magical beast that had probably been created or enchanted by a revenge-crazed sorcerer would attack at least every couple of weeks, but lately Camelot had been quite peaceful. It was strange, very out of the ordinary, and thoroughly annoying.

Merlin was in a very bad mood.

**lol**

Arthur looked up as Sir Gwaine burst into the council chambers, where Arthur had started doing his paperwork. Pitiful as it was, his own chambers reminded him too much of HIM.

He gazed at Gwaine, who was leaning on the doorway, trying to catch his breath. "Arthur...we're being attacked!"

Arthur groaned, letting his head slump forward to hit the table. "What is it this time?"

"Another evil army." Gwaine paused nervously. "Gaius doesn't think we can defeat them without using magic."

Arthur sighed. "Why am I getting a feeling of Déjà Vu? Alright, sound the warning bell and get everyone somewhere safe. We need to find a sorcerer to help us."

Gwaine nodded, then hesitated. "Er, sire, do you think we should-"

"_Yes_, Gwaine, gather a search party," Arthur growled. "God forbid I should have any pride left."

**lol**

Merlin leaned forward and raised one dark eyebrow. Oh, this was going to be _good_.

Merlin grinned evilly and went to get his Scary Warlock Costume.

**lol**

Arthur didn't know what he'd been expecting, but it certainly hadn't been this. After two days of trekking through the outlying villages and forests and asking after anyone named Merlin, Emrys, or Dragoon The Great (that last one had earned him plenty of odd looks), Arthur split up with the knights to cover more ground and finally heard word of a notably crazy magician named Emrys who lived in a cave on the side of a mountain. When Arthur finally found this cave, he was met by a young boy wearing a brown cloak, clearly a druid, sitting by the mouth of the cave with a large roll of parchment. He approached the strange boy tentatively. "Uh... I'm looking for someone called Emrys. Have you, er, heard of him?"

The Druid gazed up at them with bored green eyes. "Who's asking?"

Arthur blinked. "Um...King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot."

The boy scanned his parchment halfheartedly. "You're not on the list. Do you have an appointment?"

Arthur blinked again. "I... What? No. I'm an old friend."

The Druid boy looked over his parchment again, brow furrowed, mouthing the words "old friend" and "Pendragon".

"Oh yes, here you are. 'Arthur Pendragon: Big mean prat, arrogant supercilious dollophead, prone to overreaction and unjustified banishment, do not admit under any circumstances...' Sorry, apparently Lord Emrys doesn't want to talk to you. Please never come back."

Arthur sputtered uselessly. "Look, I really need to-" He trailed off as a figure materialized at the mouth of the cave.

"Thank you, Rudy. I'll handle this," it said calmly.

Rudy nodded and disappeared with a dramatic Poof.

Arthur studied the figure carefully. He was wearing a silky black cloak with gold runes inscribed along the hem, and a deep hood that hid most of his face, but Arthur thought he caught a glimpse of bright blue eyes watching him carefully.

Arthur sighed and stepped forward warily. "I..."

Emrys crossed his arms. "Something you'd like to say, your majesty?"

Arthur met his eyes evenly, or at least as much as he could through the dark hood. "I'm sorry, Merlin. Truly."

The warlock tilted his head slightly, studying Arthur appraisingly. "For?"

Arthur closed his eyes briefly. "For... For what I said to you, for sending you away, for not trusting you... I just... I'm so sorry for everything, Merlin. And we really need your help now... Even though I know I don't deserve it. So please, please, if you can't forgive me, Merlin, don't let my people suffer for it. Please help us defend Camelot."

Merlin slowly reached up and lowered the hood, finally revealing his face. He'd changed over the last year, Arthur noted. His hair was much longer and even shabbier than before and  
he had a long scar above his left eye. He held himself much more confidently and seemed to almost radiate power. Merlin glowered at Arthur a moment, trying to look intimidating (and succeeding quite nicely, Arthur actually shuddered slightly under the glare), before relaxing a bit. "You know, you really shouldn't be groveling before a fugitive. It's kind of pathetic. Unbecoming for a king," he paused thoughtfully, "Or anyone, really."

Arthur exhaled loudly. "Merlin..."

Merlin shook his head and placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter anymore." Merlin smiled smugly, looking quite pleased with Arthur's apology and pleading for help. "Now. I believe you have another army attacking Camelot? You really seem to attract those like moths to a flame, don't you?"

Arthur frowned. "How did you-"

Merlin raised an eyebrow and fluttered his fingers pointedly, letting his eyes glow brightly.

Arthur grimaced a little. "Right. So you'll help?"

"Yes, I'll help. I've been waiting for something like this to happen. I'm sick of this cave, I want to go home."

Arthur nodded, staring into Merlin's sea blue eyes for a moment before giving in and pulling the younger man into a fierce hug, burying his face in Merlin's shoulder. "I missed you, you idiot," he muttered.

Merlin smiled and wrapped his arms tightly around his friend. "I've missed you too. It's boring out here."

Arthur pulled away, keeping hold of Merlin's shoulders. "Why didn't you come back earlier? You had to know I wouldn't have..."

Merlin grinned at him. Arthur rolled his eyes. Of course, Merlin had wanted him to come crawling back to him, begging for forgiveness and help. Typical.

"Now not that this isn't fun, but I believe you have a kingdom that's under attack...?"

Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin's arm as he tried to squirm away. "Now wait just a moment," Arthur said incredulously. "Rudy?"

Merlin nodded matter-of-factly. "Oh yes, he's just a figment of your imagination I hired to keep away undesirables. You know druids, all so eager to accommodate the mighty Emrys's every wish..."

Arthur blinked and shook his head. "I...see. And what did you do to your head?"

"Oh. That. Well, there was this big magical beast, it had the head of a bear and the body of a snake with these massive wings, and it managed to scratch me before I blasted it into oblivion, it had these claws as long as my hand that-"

"You fell and hit your head on a rock, didn't you?"

"Yes, sire."

"You're an idiot, Merlin."


	2. Chapter 2: Merlin's Invisibility Suit

**Title: Merlin's Invisibility Suit**

**Warnings: none.**

**Disclaimer: still don't own**

**Characters & Pairings: Arthur, Merlin, OC (Rudy)**

**AN: Chapter 2, in which it turns into pointless ridiculousness. Enjoy.**

"Merlin!" Arthur yelled, banging on the door to the Court Sorcerer's chambers. "_Merlin_! Open up!"

Arthur jumped back violently, trying not to fall through the suddenly open door. A young boy with dark green eyes and curly brown hair stood in the doorway, staring suspiciously at Arthur. The boy twisted around and yelled back into the room, "My Lord? Do you want to talk to the king?"

Arthur heard Merlin's manic-sounding voice drift out of his chambers. "NO!"

The boy, who looked strangely familiar, turned back to Arthur and bowed deeply. "You're not wanted here, sire. You are excused. Please go away."

And he slammed the door in Arthur's face.

Arthur stared dumbly at the now closed door for a moment before banging on it as hard as he could, "_MER_LIN! I AM YOUR KING! OPEN THIS DOOR _RIGHT THIS SECOND _OR SO HELP ME-"

The door suddenly didn't exist anymore. Arthur stumbled ungracefully into the room, still screaming manically. "EMRYS, IF YOU DO NOT GET THAT BOY OUT OF MY CASTLE THIS SECOND I SWEAR TO _GOD_-"

Arthur suddenly fell silent, feeling shocked and confused. The boy was nowhere to be found. And Merlin's bodiless head was floating in the middle of the room. "Sorry, Arthur," the Merlin-Head said, "I'm just working on this magical invisibility suit...it just needs a few tweaks..." Merlin's head grimaced.

Arthur sputtered. "Where's the boy?"

Merlin's head froze, looking perplexed, before vanishing, leaving only his mouth. "I don't know what you're talking about," the mouth said.

"_Mer_lin!"

The mouth disappeared and an arm materialized, waving dramatically. "This is not the Rudy you're looking for."

Suddenly the whole of Merlin appeared before Arthur. "Was there something you needed, sire?"

Arthur blinked. "I... I don't remember."

"Great! I'll be going now." Merlin disappeared completely.

Arthur stared at the spot his Court Sorcerer had just vacated, then turned and walked away, cradling his aching head.


	3. Chapter 3: Training and Lemonade

**Title: Training and Lemonade**

**Warnings: None**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. Or Star Wars. I do own Rudy. And some socks. And a pen with a butterfly on it. And some cheese. Cheese is good.**

**Characters & Pairings: Merlin, Arthur, OC (Rudy)**

**An: Here is chapter 3. It's late, way too short, and really ridiculous, but I hope you like it anyway. Please review! :)**

"I still think this is a bad idea," Merlin muttered. He and Arthur were out on the training field where Arthur had dragged him earlier, after spouting some nonsense about practicing his evil-sorcerer-killing-skills.

"Come on, _Mer_lin, don't be such a girl's petticoat. Attack me."

Merlin sighed. "Arthur, I don't-"

The king smirked. "Would you rather I be defenseless against the big scary sorcerers?"

"Arthur, as long as I have anything to do with it you're about the farthest thing from _defenseless_there is. Now can we please-" He cut off as Arthur suddenly charged at him, hollering and waving Excalibur around his head like a lunatic.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Fine, you asked for it."

Arthur suddenly found himself flat on his back on the other side of the training field, with no recollection of how he got there.

Merlin yawned. "I'm thirsty."

A green-eyed boy in a brown cloak popped out nowhere and handed him a glass of lemonade.

"Thank you, Rudy."

Rudy vanished as Arthur came jogging over. "Point taken... What the heck is _that_?"

Merlin sipped at it with a dreamy expression on his face. "Lemonade. Pretend you never saw it; it's not supposed to exist yet. Oh, and you can't have any because Rudy doesn't like you."

Arthur gasped and started jumping up and down. "_HA! SO YOU ADMIT HE EXISTS!_"

Merlin looked at him sharply. "Who?"

"Rudy!" Arthur shouted.

Merlin winced. "Alright, no need to start foaming at the mouth. I have no idea what you're talking about, Arthur."

"_RUDY_! The boy who's always following you around and popping up out of thin air-"

Merlin laid a hand on Arthur's forehead, pursing his lips. "Arthur, are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, it's that boy-"

"Arthur, this is ridiculous. I'm getting Gaius."

"_MERLIN!_"


End file.
